Monday, February 18, 2008

Chinatown is Nuts

ny-00239-cmott-street-chinatown-new-york-city-postersAlright, I don’t love Chinatown. In fact, let me just say it, I borderline hate Chinatown. And I won’t even qualify this statement with any political correctness. I certainly don’t hate Chinese people. And I particularly love Dim Sum, but…

Here are my reasons for Chinatown angst: too crowded and the fish smell. From whichever direction you approach, forget it. Canal Street stinky. Side street, stinky. It’s practically impossible and always a headache.

Today, on my walk of shame back from an amorous encounter that started at GoldBar and resulted in a sleepover on Centre Street, I walked through the neighborhood of odd delicacies and my cocktail dress and heels caused no great pause from anyone. Making my way north on Mott, I noticed bins and bins of every kind of nut imaginable for only $4/ lb! A little hung-over and having snuck out of my paramour’s pad without so much as a coffee for breakfast, I was tempted, so…I scooped up some walnuts, filling the bag to the brim, and paid my pittance. Two blocks later, I was spitting out the rancid nuts onto Elizabeth Street, which was, to be fair, already quite filthy. I spun around, went back to the stand, and spent the next ten minutes trying to explain to the shopkeeper why I didn’t want the nuts: they were bad! and no, I did not want to exchange for anything else from his shop. Then the manager came over, and at some point during the frustrated conversation, I glanced down at the writing on some of the packaged candies and noticed that, actually, I wasn’t even in a Chinese store, but a Korean one. Ultimately, I left the shop without getting my money back.

I clandestinely emptied the uneaten nuts back into the bin out front, a little amused with my vigilante nut attack, and a few bucks short.

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One Response to “Chinatown is Nuts”

  1. Rhys

    I still have some bad Chinatown walnuts from last year that I have yet to finish off. Maybe they’re getting better with time. It’s funny that nuts too were Chinatown’s last stand for me. Whenever I start to think about how great Chinatown is, and how cheap, and how it has everything, and how I need to go there, I remember the walnuts, and I go to my local natural grocery store instead.

    It’s still the best place for young coconuts, though.

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